Jenn the “Kwai-Lan Kia”

I have this inevitably uncanny “kwai-lan” attitude since I was a toddler until now. Unchanging.

Last night, I treated Yuhei to RAKUZEN because I’ve developed an appetite for teppan ox-tongue since trying it, under Yuhei’s recommendation at a Korean BBQ restaurant months ago. I’m not a typical connoisseur of weird food and ox-tongue falls in my category of “weird food” but thinly sliced ox-tongue, DIY-barbecued with lemon sauce is yummy!

After finishing our meal, I had Teppanyaki Zen and Yuhei had Sashimi, the hot teppan barbecue plate was still steaming with the fire burning underneath. I am a person who is easily bored. While waiting for the change, I unwittingly poured the entire remaining soy sauce into the hot plate, with Yuhei almost screaming, “NO….!!!”. Too late. I did it.

The fumes exhausted were almost black. The odour emitted were dauntingly unbearable! I regretted immediately but it was too late.

Yuhei almost instantly squirmed to the corner of our table. “This is embarassing! Why did you do that?!!!”, he bellowed.

I said, “Sorry, baby, I can’t help it.”

Seconds later, a waitress came to take away the sizzling plate with soy sauce with a confused look on her face. I was giggling inside, like satisfaction kind of feeling, but also with a sense of remorse for my own stupid action.

So the moral of the story – Jenn is a “kwai-lan kia”. Stay away if you can’t take it

*** “Kwai-lan” is a rough Hokkien slang meaning troublemaker / irritable person.

The thing about China

China is one of the world’s oldest civilisations dating back more than six millennia. It is the root of my existence. The land where my ancestors hailed.

China is one of the world’s oldest continuous civilisations. It has the world’s longest continuously used written language system, and the source of some of the world’s great inventions, including the Four Great Inventions of ancient China: paper, the compass, gunpowder, and printing. But neither China’s booming economy nor its alarming military growth is the root of the problem. Communism is the culprit.

1.2 billion people. That is the overwhelming population of China. Hell, you get that? It’s about 22% of the world’s population, man! All in one nation! Nuts! And the result? GREED. GREED. GREED. GREED. And some stupidity, too. How could the people of a nation not be a bit tad stupid when they used to have a dictator, Mao Zedong, who said power comes from the barrel of a gun….???!!! That blimey idiot who also ordered all birds to be shot for harvest pestilence, resulting in the overwhelming production of insects such as locusts consuming all harvest. Bloody fool!

I’ve taken up the habit of watching CNN after shower, before work, in between a cigarette and a glass of water in the morning. The hot news at the moment is – China’s Deadly Goods Wreck Havoc!

The mentality of China people are just absurd. Greed is the number one dominant. In which, they resulted into making fraudulent, shoddy and dangerous goods. Pets all over the world die of lead-poisoning from pet-food made in China. People die of antibiotics infection! Much thanks to uncontrolled sterilisation of the drug. Where is it from? China. And God knows what else is in various foods with the label “Made in China”.

Why did they do such things? Easy. Cut-cost! Cut-cost! Cut-cost! Save! Save! Save! Earn more! Earn more! Earn more! What did I say again? The ultimate Chinaman attribute in caps : G-R-E-E-D! I am a Chinese descendant and I am terribly ashamed.

So what are we going to do? Ban China goods? How? It’s quite impossible. Really. I mean, take a look around you. Look at the things surrounding you. How many are labeled “Made in China”? Because you see, “Made in China” is synonymous with cheap, although low-quality. But it’s undeniably cheap! Unless you have rich Daddy’s money and could afford “Made in U.K”. Yeah, how many of us have a rich Daddy, now, huh?

What could be done, I think, is to have the Government of China make stringent quality-control and safety measures law over the production of goods. How could that be done? Probably a rally strike all over the world? A congregation organised by the WHO for a threat of a boycott, maybe? Thank God, I am not a politician. What one can do now is – DO NOT BUY brands with “Made in China” when it comes to foodstuff. Especially if you have pets at home. humbug.

the hippie-wannabe

I was grooving to psy-trance at a jungle party.

Jesus the Jew

Jesus

1. one third of a trinity of deities consisting of the following: Jesus, Mohammed, and Buddha.

2. the most famous Jew in history whose followers have sworn to emulate his life; they begin by swearing off Jewry and killing or persecuting as many Jews as are readily available.

Jew

1. a Semite; member of the Arabian races.

2. a matrilineal race characterized by habitual mutilation of the male sex organ and an over fondness for banking.

3. the chosen people; chosen last and for the worst in all cases to date.

roti jantan

Jonah: Have you heard of Roti Jantan? I heard from somewhere… Roti Jantan.

Jenn: I’ve heard of Kopi Jantan. But Roti Jantan…???

Jonah: I wonder what it’s like.

Jenn: Probably roti, with 2 eggs and a sausage.

Jonah: AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!

sex education

more than meets the eye

Tomorrow I shall blog about the movie Transformers. I grew up with cartoon series. Not as much as Care Bears, Jem, Smurfs, Thundercats or the classic Disney cartoons, but I did grew up with it. Transformers – Robots in disguise.

Click here and play the “Which Care Bear Are You” game. It’s cute. I am Bedtime Bear. Brave, loyal, easy-going and confident.

Bedtime Bear

Actually, Yuhei and I have decided not to go for movies anymore. Because the tall dude have difficulties with the seats. And having to break his back during a snowboarding excursion years ago, his back gets chilly and aches if he sits idle at one spot too long.

So we’ve decided on the cheapo ciplak DVDs. But I heard from so many people that Transformers the movie was like GOOD! People even clap hands and applauded after the movie in the cinema. Being the kiasu that I am, I’m not gonna miss it! So, I’m watching it, like finally, tonight. I shall write about it tomorrow.

Jarah Mariano… again…

This is the second time I am writing about her. She’s just soooooooo hot. Every single inch of her! She’s got the body of my dreams. I want! I want! I want! I’ve got her type of shoulders. All I need is just the height, the hair, the tan, the boobs, the tummy, the legs, the hips, the face and inches of fat top to bottom lesser. I also believe I can fly……..

Jarah M. Mariano is an Asian supermodel. She is of Hawaiian, Korean, and Chinese descent. Mariano has appeared in MAC cosmetics ads, been featured in ads from Armani Exchange, Sephora, Abercrombie & Fitch,and Victoria’s Secret, Mariano is in Jay-Z’s “Show Me What You Got” video. She’s the hottest chick after Angelina Jolie.

height: 171cm/5′7.5″
bust: 86cm/34″
waist: 61cm/24″
hips: 85cm/33.5″
dress: 34 EU/4 US/6 UK
shoe: 39 EU/8 US/6 UK
hair: Brown
eyes: Brown

my baby and i

Fernando Torres

As everyone knows, I am nuts for tattoos. I think Beckham’s tattoos are cool. Other than him, is Fernando Torres. The very cute Spanish striker who has his name in Tengwar (Lord of the Rings’ elven languange) tattooed on his left inner arm. Same position with my Latin tattoo. I have a knack for words and symbols and numerals and shit. And I think Fernando Torres is so fucking hot!

the one with the A.D.

One night we were watching the History channel when it struck me…

Jenn: What does A.D. stands for?

Yuhei: I forgot. I know it’s Latin.

Jenn: Yeah, B.C. is Before Christ… so A.D. should be…

Yuhei: When I was younger I thought it was After Die.

Jenn: AHAHAHAHAHA! It is so not! But it’s quite logic, isn’t it. Since it refers to the birth of Jesus Christ.

FYI: Anno Domini (Latin : “In the year of (Our) Lord”), abbreviated as AD or A.D., defines an epoch based on the traditionally reckoned year of the conception or birth of Jesus of Nazareth.

the love of my life

Am I indifferent to cats, a cat owner, a cat lover or an irredeemable cat slave?

Honestly, I am none of the above. Crissy is not exactly mine. She is Yuhei’s. I am co-owner by law. Whatever that means!

I don’t exactly have a bonding history with animals. When I was 4, Daddy bought half a dozen of white mice for my pleasure. One day, when I was home alone with Mommy, the mice cage broke loose and everyone escaped. Mommy, being super-twitchy with anything furry, tried to capture everyone with a cloth. Mommy ended up suffocating each and everyone of the little mousies to death. When I was 6, I tried to “feed”  Daddy’s dog, Bobbie. When he was about to have it, I took it away. I was luring him, yeah. He got agitated and bit me on the wrist. I cried the house down and had to be rushed to the hospital. I so swear to god I never like that dog.

A few years later, while walking home from tuition, I tried to intimidate a group of stray dogs away from my path. I ended-up being chased home faster than the bullet train. I  can’t remember a situation scarier than that! Awhile later, Mommy bought a few coloured chicks from the market to amuse my infant brother. They were literally coloured. Pink. Blue. Green. Orange. Purple. You name it. They live in a card-box. And gosh, did they poop a lot! They can’t stop chirping and Mommy gave them away to the Malay neighbour who had cats. R.I.P. chicky-dees… They were not my problem anymore.

A few years back, I found 4 abandoned new-born kittens in Puchong. I brought them back because there were dogs barking somewhere and I am just oh so kind-hearted. Oh yeah. The ex-boyfriend’s mom raised them. I am not a cat person, what can I say…

I don’t find cats lovely or adorable. And I never loved them. No passion there. I mean, if it’s other people’s cat. I give it a kick whenever the owner’s not looking. I don’t like cats. Especially those super snobbish longish haired types. What, Persian or whatever. Yucks.

Now, I have a boyfriend who IS a cat person. He found Crissy at Jalan Imbi. Crissy is like the sweetest cat I’ve ever met. From being a “not a cat person”, I now bath her, comb her, kiss her, hug her, sleep with her. Even share a cup of water with her! No, actually she always drink from mine and I drank it unaware.

I love Crissy. She’s the first cat or animal, one might say, that I actually bonded so closely with. I am her Mommy. She’s a big part of my life now.

It’s the latest and trendiest feline headgear.

I so need a new phone

Dear God,

Please grant me a new phone. It’s time for my old Nokia to rest in peace. My poor Nokia. Yuhei said it’s so ol’-skool, I could sell it at an amazing price at the antique store, he says. My poor ol’ Nokia is monotone. Blue screen with no camera, no MMS, no whatever S, IT IS SO UNCOOL! No offence to old Nokia, but to be seen with it is making me look retro. I am everything BUT retro. I promise I’ll be good. I promise I won’t have pre-marital for a week. I promise I will donate RM1 to the first fakely disabled person that comes begging when I have dim-sum at Jalan Ipoh. I promise I won’t push Crissy off the bed when she comes asking to sleep under the covers when I am halfway through sleep. Actually, I don’t push her anymore, I pull her into the covers and place her nicely under my armpit. I promise not to masturbate – as in medieval times, the priest said it’s a sin and you’ll go blind. I promise I will detox for a week.

I want this phone… Pretty please…???

GWEN STEFANI~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She’s coming! She’s coming! She’s coming! Yahooooooooooo!!!!!!!!

Time: 8.30pm

Date: 21st August 2007

Venue: Putra Indoor Stadium, Bukit Jalil

Tickets: Main Arena (RM385 & RM365), Lower Terrace (RM285), Upper Terrace (RM175 & RM125)

Tickets go on sale to the public on 15th July 12pm!!!!!

You can get tickets at Axcess Box Office, 1 Utama New wing -(77253903), Rock Corner, MidValley Megamall – (22847423), Hard Rock Cafe, Jalan Sultan Ismail – (27155555), Planet Hollywood, Jln Bukit Bintang – (21446602) and Axcess Office, Jln Semangat – (77115050).

For more info you can call…Scenique Office, Mon-Fri 9.30am-5pm, (77817302) or Axcess Office, Mon-Fri 9am-6pm, (77115000)