Archive for July, 2006

h1

the MPV (Multi Purpose Vibrator)

July 31, 2006

My friend Eric bought this eenie-weenie-teenie-meenie Asian-sized dildo cum vibrator in the UK three/four years ago. He said it has never been used before so Friday night, four of us girls were at his home after partying. So we asked him whether we can borrow the thing…

He said, “Can! But I want a full report after one week!”

So we said, “Why one week???!!! We can give you the review NOW!”

And so it goes that we brainstormed there and then the multi-purpose usage of a sex vibrator.

01. nipple / armpit / in between fingers & toes sensationer (as shown above)

02. head / neck / back / temple / calf massager

03. egg / flour beater

04. hair curler

05. pretend it to be a mic to practice your bathroom singing

06. lips pouter enhancer (vibrate against your lips) in replacement to colagen

07. foot massager

08. cocktail stirer

09. self-defense weapon a.k.a baton

10. press it against your throat and impersonate Darth Vader, “I am your father”.

Eric got so upset he was yelling, “Sex vibrator for sex lah! Not multi-purpose! Rosak lah that thing!”.

h1

Jenn’s Top Ten List of Fabulous Inventions

July 27, 2006

10. cotton buds

09. SMS

08. nipple pads

07. mascara

06. pantyliner

05. sunglass

04. toilet seat

03. thumbdrive

02. contact lens

01. dildo

h1

Jenn’s Top Ten List of Lovable Cartoon Icons

July 27, 2006

10. Eric Cartman (South Park)

Don’t fuck with Cartman!

09. Kyle Broflovski (South Park)


The smart Jewish.

08. Stan Marsh (South Park)

Stan has a gay dog named ‘Sparky’.

07. Kenny McCormick (South Park)

Oh my gawd! U killed Kenny!

06. Sebastian (The Little Mermaid)

Ariel’s conscience, this one. Crab or lobster?

05. Lumiere (Beauty & The Beast)

Buaya! I love his French accent. “Ma chèri mademoiselle”

04. Cogsworth (Beauty & The Beast)

A no-nonsense butler.

03. Dexter (Dexter’s Laboratory)

“DeeDee!! Get out of my laboratory!!!!!”

2. Dopey (Snow White & the Seven Dwarves)

We have the same ears!

01. Mr. Smee (Peter Pan)

“C-c-c-c-c-c… Captain!!!!!”

h1

Jenn’s Top Ten List of Irritating Cartoon Icons

July 26, 2006

Hateful cartoon characters to date. Irritating, mean and loud. Bugger!

Basically, the entire cast of Alice in Wonderland plus a few other characters.



10. The Singing Butterfly (The Last Unicorn)
Shut the fuck up and your poems are LOUSY!


09. The Red Bull (The Last Unicorn)
This big-fat bull is pathetic! His ONLY life purpose is to push unicorns into the sea.


08. Huey, Dewey & Louie (Mickey Mouse & Friends)
Stop bullying Uncle Donald, you pests!


07. The Grinch (How the Grinch Stole Christmas)
You deperately need a shower! And get a life. Loser!


06. Madhatter (Alice in Wonderland)
You stupid annoying old-fart. You deserve to be in a strait-jacket!


05. March Hare (Alice in Wonderland)
You useless hare, you! Your tea suck big-time!


04. The Queen (Alice in Wonderland)
Fat ugly bitch! Drama queen! Paint the roses red, my ass!


03. Tweedledee & Tweedledum (Alice in Wonderland)
If only I could tie-up both your necks with each other… Ggrrrrr….. No, wait… What neck??!!! You bloated melons!


02. Caterpillar (Alice in Wonderland)
Eh, bloody stoner! I’ll squash you with my bong!


01. Cheshire Cat (Alice in Wonderland)
Where’s the sledgehammer? I wanna knock-out ALL his teeth!


h1

I am a ho!

July 25, 2006

TV Smith said the pictures I took of myself is called ‘cam-whoring’.

SO I am a whore! Ermmmmmm…… Cool !!!!!!

h1

Breakbeat Session at The Loft, 20.07.06

July 21, 2006

Breakbeat is an electronic dance music genre. Damn long since the last time I layan breakbeat. It was at some club called Bilique in Bangsar. Breakbeat is cool.

Old friend of mine, Blastique, just got back from the UK. So he sms-ed me yesterday for his gig at The Loft, Zouk. It’s good to see an old friend.

Blastique spinned a real wicky-wicky set. You go dude!

And so, I was there with my beloved Munshi. My ‘partner-in-crime’ cum ‘brother’.

Munshi proudly told me “I’m not gonna drink tonight. I am working tomorrow. I’ll be sober!”

Well… Look who’s talking…


I did drink, which unlike my usual self. But it didn’t even get me close to tipsy. It was a blast. I had so much fun. The music was a.w.e.s.o.m.e.!

The organiser and veteran, DJ Acid, did the closing set.

I had to drive Munshi home afterwards. Lucky for us, we stay in the same place. And boy, did he whined for McDonald’s. Pain!

Oh, the Pain turned-up to work today! I am so proud of him!

h1

it pays to whine?

July 20, 2006

So ecstatic! I’ve been whining like a pain in the ass since I used this comp in the studio. Fucked-up mouse. Ol’-skool. Now I got a new optical one!

Slow-ass comp. Now I got additional 512 RAM. Innit cool! Fast-ass comp NOW!

Oh, I was thinking of taglines for a new mall this morning… And suddenly I came up with lines good for a brothel or those ‘tempat istirehat’ in town…

Mama-San Club – “Enjoy the Assets of Leisure; Pleasures You Will Treasure”

How? Can sell ah? Who wanna open strip-club?

h1

Wax & Wane

July 18, 2006

*The heavens and the earth were finished, and all their vast array. On the seventh day God finished his work which he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made. God blessed the seventh day, and made it holy, because he rested in it from all his work which he had created and made.*

 And thus, the Jennesis was born.

I am a new member to the Wax & Wane clan. Founded by Pronaz.

http://waxnwane.blogspot.com/

h1

guys I dig

July 17, 2006

Guys with these characteristics so turn me on…

- chiseled face

- prominent jawline

- high, narrow nose

- deep-set / doe eyes

- shaggy-haired

- thin lips

- tattooed

- skinny / tall

Captain Jack Sparrow

Jude Law

Jared Leto

Ralph Fiennes

Hidetoshi Nakata

Keanu Reeves

Daniel Johns

Kurt Cobain

Dave Navarro

Brandon Boyd

James Dean

Snoop Dogg

Brad Pitt

Josh Holloway

Simon Webbe

Jake Gyllenhaal

Daniel Wu

Villainous and sexy. Dark and macho. Veiny arms. An obvious Adam’s apple. Broad-chested. Large hands. Long fingers. A lil’ bit of biceps.
My ultimate definition of a ‘handsome man’.

h1

Uber-Cool Tool

July 17, 2006

Define… Sexy, Cool, Sleek, Smoooooottthhhhhhhh……….


15-inch Macbook Pro
Powered by a 2.0 or 2.16GHz dual-core Intel engine. Up to five times the speed of the PowerBook G4. Eight times the graphics bandwidth. With built-in iSight for instant video conferencing on the move. Front Row with Apple Remote to dazzle everyone in the room.

Baby, you’ll be mine… Soon…

h1

Birthday Wish

July 14, 2006

My birthday is still half a year from now. Remember this… 5th January!!!

But can I pre-book my pressie now??? Please, please, please…???

I’d like to have ALL of these… I pwomisss I’ll be a good girl…………………

h1

I got a twin~!!!

July 14, 2006

I think Dopey and I might be separated at birth. Look carefully at our ears… We are twins!!!!!!!!!!

h1

GROOVE ARMADA, KL Tower, 16 Sept 2006

July 12, 2006

Remember how swell it was the last time GA was in Malaysia, up in Genting? Well, they’re BACK! Here’s the news:

FROM its beginnings as Found @ Thirst in 2003, the annual Heineken Music Thirst competitions have served as a platform for many a rising DJ in the clubbing industry.

Entering its fourth year, the competition is now looking at globalisation in a different perspective with Thirst Studio.

Thirst Studio is an opportunity for aspiring dance producers and now even rock bands to realise their dreams of collaborating with the world and Malaysia’s top producers to create music to meet international standards.

“In Malaysia, we have many aspiring producers and musicians who deserve an opportunity to gain international recognition,” said Yap Swee Leng, marketing manager of Heineken during the Thirst launch last week.

“Through Thirst Studio, we aim to provide these young talents with a platform to learn from the best,” she added.

The winner of Thirst Studio 06 will be flown to the selected international producer’s studio where he or she will participate in a personal music production session, before returning to perform alongside top international dance and rock artistes to an audience of more than 5,000 at the main Thirst Studio event on Sept 16 at KL Tower.

Headlining that gig will be British dance outfit Groove Armada (in the persona of the Groove Armada Soundsystem), renowned Thai electro-rock band Futon (featuring ex-Suede drummer Simon Gilbert) and Malaysia’s own internationally acclaimed Haze with DJ Gabriel.

The winner will also receive a recording deal with a local label as well as music hardware and production equipment/software.

For the Thirst Studio, the international producer will be Paul Epworth. After paying his dues at London’s legendary Air Studios, The Strongroom and Chiswick Reach, Epworth stepped forward as the in-house producer/engineer at the now defunct 93 Feet East Studios, where he honed his craft on his own debut album as main singer and songwriter in Lomax.

Groove Armada

In between writing and recording he managed to establish himself as the hottest live sound engineer around, mixing the likes of The Kills, Royksopp, The Rapture, LCD Soundsystem, Zongamin, Liquid Liquid and The Futureheads, who later gave him his first big production job.

Since producing the majority of tracks on The Futureheads debut, Epworth has been in the studio with emerging talent such as The Rakes, White Rose Movement and Babyshambles, as well remixing the likes of U2 and Goldfrapp.

His most notable album projects are with the jaw-dropping Bloc Party debut and Geordie indie-pop saviours Maximo Park.

This year sees Epworth working with credible Brit urban acts such as Plan B and Kano, and original dance rockers The Rapture. Epworth also continues to seek out new talent for his boutique imprint Good & Evil.

Haze, meanwhile, can claim to be the first Malaysian artiste to appear in the British Singles Chart when his collaborations with New York producer Sandy Rivera, Changes, managed to reach No. 48 in Jan 2003 and Dreams hit No. 69 in July 2004.

The characteristic that sets Haze apart in the world of dance music production is his musicianship. For Haze house music is simply a platform. His work has its roots in the house scene but is not limited, giving him a huge advantage as both artiste and producer.

Haze has gained respect and admiration in the industry over the past several years and can boast working relationships with the likes of M. J. Cole, ATFC, G Club and Defected Records’ Mike Millrain. His work has been remixed by Ben Watt, Junior Jack, M. J. Cole, Chus & Ceballos and Rasmus Faber to name a few. Haze’s songs have been featured on countless best-selling dance compilations around the world.

Other selected participants will also get to take part in exclusive master class workshops with some of the region’s best producers, who will share their secrets and studio time.

The Thirst Studio competition is open to ALL Malaysians aged 18. Entry packs can be downloaded from (www.heinekenmusic.com.my) and are available at the following locations: International College of Music, School of Audio Engineering, Limkokwing University of Communication Technology, Multimedia University of Malaysia, Unimas, production studios Mad Sonic Gorillas, Groove Syndicate and Clockwork, and DJ Schools Royale, Bionics and Groove Syndicate. Call tel: 03-6203 1601 for inquiries and information only. Closing date is July 30.

I’ll see you, baby… Superstyling… there!

h1

Creatives’ Studio a.k.a. my office

July 11, 2006

I was fooling around at work. Pictures taken with my colleague’s IMAC G5.




h1

ZIDANE retired with a RED CARD!

July 10, 2006

I tried to stay up to watch the finals between France and Italy. Around 1am, I fell asleep. Without setting my alarm clock. Not only did I woke up late for work, I also missed the most anticipated match. Sial betul! But I heard the results and news first-hand from Yuhei and my colleagues. Intriguing!!!

Zizou’s last international game, retiring after the World Cup finals. And he retired fashionably with a Red Card! Ada gaya! Ada style! I like!!!!!

Zinedine Zidane won the adidas Golden Ball at the 2006 FIFA World Cup Germany™. Although his team ultimately failed in their bid to lift the Trophy, Les Bleus No. 10 was voted the best player to grace the stage at Germany 2006


yeah… the Italians got the Cup


Look at their faces. It’s pure joy.

A lot of dramas in this World Cup. Like Schweinsteiger (fuh.. his name damn hard to spell!) getting a yellow card for taking off his shirt after scoring a goal. I mean like, what the fuck!

I’m not a football fan also I feel this World Cup damn entertaining.

h1

Jenn’s top ten list of hot World Cup players

July 7, 2006

10. Dejan Stankovic, Serbia and Montenegro

09. Landon Donovan, United States

08. Kawagutchi, Japan

07. Kaka, Brazil

06. Luis Figo, Portugal

05. Nelson Valdez, Paraguay

04. Michael Ballack, Germany

03. Ronaldinho, Brazil

02. Christiano Ronaldo, Portugal
owh! HOT! HOT! HOT!

01. Nakata, Japan

h1

me no eat raw meat

July 6, 2006

I’ve always thought I could eat anything, if not, everything. This humble thought was proved wrong when I went with Yuhei for Korean BBQ last night. Yuhei had a craving for Korean BBQ and insisted we try the restaurant near his home. The one at the end of Jln. Alor, beside 7-11, which I don’t remember the name. So I thought, okay lah, they don’t call it BBQ if they’re not gonna cook it right!

Yuhei ordered some ox tongue, and some raw beef. Ox tongue, yes, to be barbecued. But the raw beef is, well, raw! Sliced beef mixed in lemon, some pears…. And just eat it like that! Red, bloody and RAW! I even asked Yuhei, “can i cook this?” He said no. It’s meant to be eaten raw. I only fed myself with white rice. And was still starving after so-called ‘dinner’.

uuurrrgghhhhh!

So, I decided to probably tapau wantan mee to go. Poor me. Posh restaurant with ‘posh’ food and I can’t even bear to look at the food. Not to say swallow!

You see, I consider myself ‘civilised’. Why eat raw meat when we’ve already discovered fire ages and ages ago? What’s the point of going to a restaurant and eat raw meat? And pay them so much for not even cooking them! I don’t see the logic…

But Yuhei being Yuhei… Japanese. The Japanese could eat eels, octupus, whale, jelly-fish, salmon, and what’s not… All raw! I had so much trouble with my food when I was in Tokyo three years ago. The only thing I ate was hotel breakfast! Hams! Bacons! You know, ‘civilised-food’! I don’t even eat other parts of the animal, any animal when it comes to meat. Liver, tail, intestines, whatever… No, I don’t take that. Ew.

My godbrother, Ray, is always happy whenever he eats Bak-Kut-Teh with me. That’s because he gets to have all the ‘goodie’ parts. I only take pure meat. Not even the ones laden with fat, whatsoever. Yeah, I know, that’s the best part, that’s what they say. Ew.

So I guess, the conclusion is, I am picky and fussy in my food…??? Yes ah??? But I can eat with my hand… I am half-Peranakan ma….. Will that count?

What’s the verdict?

h1

message from NAKATA

July 4, 2006

December 1st 1985 痿・June 22nd 2006

Almost twenty years have passed since I first set out on my journey of “football”. That journey began under the cold winter skies of Yamanashi, in the corner of a schoolyard, when I was eight years old.

Back in those days, kicking the ball would transport me to a different world, and my mind would be filled with nothing but the thought of scoring. I lived and breathed the game, taking a football with me wherever I went.

But it never occurred to me that this journey would prove to be such a long one. After proceeding through the qualifiers for Yamanashi followed by the Kanto Region, I played in the National Under-15, Under-17 and Youth teams, before playing in the J-League and then moving to Europe where I spent a significant part of my career.

Invited to play on the Olympic and national teams as well, I battled on countless football pitches, literally all over the world.

Throughout, no matter where I was or what I was doing, football was close to my heart. And what I got out of the game is immeasurable. Football has brought me intense pleasure, sadness, friendship, and at times tested me as a human being.

Naturally it wasn’t all smooth sailing 痿・far from it. But to me, everything that football brought has been a wonderful experience, providing the challenges, inspiration and stimulation necessary for me to grow as a person.

About six months ago, I decided to end my ten-year career in professional football, making the World Cup in Germany my final event before retirement.

There was no one particular event that triggered this. And there is no single reason behind my decision. But what I can say now is that I felt that it was time for me to graduate from the journey of professional football, and set out on a new journey.

Football 痿・the biggest sport in the world. By nature, the world of football includes a huge number of fans, and a huge number of journalists. Players are the subjects of much attention and great expectations, and hold a certain responsibility to win. At times, I have been subject to such high praise that it was almost disillusioning, and at others I have been tormented by criticism that went as far as to deny my own self worth.

After turning professional, when asked if I liked football, I found that I was no longer able to give the straight answer “Yes, I love it!” that I would have before. While I was very much aware of the great honour and responsibility involved in what I was doing, I had somehow lost the pure feeling of passion for the ball that I had felt so strongly as a child.

But following the last whistle of our match against Brazil on the 22nd of June 痿・the match that would be my last as a professional 痿・I rediscovered a part of myself that always has and always will truly love soccer. On the pitch, I experienced an overwhelming wave of emotion 痿・something far greater than I had been aware of myself.

I can see now that it was something that I had kept tucked away deep inside me 痿・my true passion for football that I didn’t want to become tarnished. Over the years, I had created a thick wall to protect those feelings.

In order to protect myself from certain situations, I would at times act completely cold and without emotion. But at the very end, the wall gave way, and my feelings showed themselves.

After the Brazil match, while imprinting into my mind the feeling of the grass beneath me for the last time, I did manage after several minutes to regain my composure but then when I looked up to the stands and acknowledged the supporters, the emotion came back intensely, as if to explode inside me.

Here is what was going through my mind:

The hoarse voices of fans who cheered for me with all their strength, regardless of which country or which stadium I happened to be playing in…
The sound of people cheering “NAKATA” that reached me on football pitches all over the world…
It really is because of everyone’s support that I managed to continue this decade-long journey. And within this journey of football, the Japanese national team has been a truly special destination for me. Throughout my final tournament, in Germany, there was one thing I was aware of constantly as I played: The question “What message can I leave to all the other players, staff and fans?

I really felt that the Japanese team had huge potential going into this tournament. The individual players are highly skilled, and on top of this we have speed. The one thing that was disappointing was that we didn’t have the skills to bring out the best in ourselves 痿・to achieve to our full potential. Over the last four years, I had been trying in my own way to make the players realise this. In an effort to communicate, I would sometimes try encouraging, and at other times resort to yelling, and I know I made my teammates angry on numerous occasions. But I was not able to effectively convey my message.

I felt truly sorry that the World Cup finished with the result it did for us. Afterwards, I did a lot of thinking, asking myself just what it was that I had contributed, what I had made everybody feel, throughout my football career. But to be honest I could not confidently say that I had succeeded in communicating anything.

Still, after reading through each and every mail sent to me, it became clear that there really are a lot of people out there who do understand me 痿・what I wanted to convey and what I thought the national team needed. And I am now confident that my approach to my football-life, ever since turning professional, has been the right one.

To think that I would be leaving the national team, and football, without having managed to leave anything behind, was really hard on me. But I believe that all those who have made the effort to understand me, will be there to support the new national team.

That is why I am now able to set out on a new journey with no regrets.

There’s one last thing I’d like to say.

I am someone who has always held my head up high, and I will continue to live like that, even after stepping away from professional football. The strength to do this comes from all of the support I have had over the years.

And whatever the future holds, I know I will never lose that pride, because all of your voices will be with me, in my heart.

A new journey is about to begin.

While I won’t be returning to the pitch as a player, I will not give up football. I have no doubt that along the way I will be kicking a ball around with someone on a patch of grass or on a small football field, not as a profession but as a form of communication, with the same passion I had back in my early childhood.

To each and every player who shared the pitch with me, to each and every person who has played a part in my life, and to each and every one of you who believed in and supported me right until the last moment, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

Hide

h1

Sayonara, Hide…

July 4, 2006

Yuhei told me of a shocking news today. Sad and shocking. Read on… 

Japanese international Hidetoshi Nakata has surprisingly announced his retirement from professional football at the age of just 29.

The midfielder, who spent last season on loan at Bolton Wanderers, started all three games as Japan finished bottom of Group F at the World Cup finals, but has now opted to bring a premature end to his glittering playing career.

Nakata was twice named Asian Player of the Year as he established himself as the continent’s most iconic star during a career that encompassed a lengthy spell in Italy.

Now any hopes Trotters boss Sam Allardyce may have had of keeping him on at The Reebok Stadium have been scuppered by his shock announcement.

“I decided half a year ago that I would retire from the world of professional soccer after the World Cup in Germany,” said a statement on the player’s website.

“I will never go out onto the pitch again as a professional football player, but I will never give up football.”

An official from the star’s management company also confirmed the news, stating: “Nakata said on his Internet page that he is retiring. There is no mistake.”

Nakata begun his footballing life with Japanese outfit Bellmare Hiratsuka, and embarked on a career that would bring him the Asian Player of the Year award in both 1997 and 1998.

After his first of three World Cup finals appearances, in France in 1998, Nakata secured a move to Perugia and quickly became a Japanese icon as he starred in Italian football.

It was a transfer to Roma that provided him with the highlight of his career however, as the Giallorossi claimed the Scudetto in 2001.

Nakata also played for Parma, Bologna and Fiorentina in Serie A before a loan spell with Bolton last season, and he retires having played 77 times for his country, scoring 11 goals.

His standing as an ambassador for football and his country was confirmed in 2004 when he was named in the Fifa 100, Pele’s list of the 100 greatest living players, whilst a year later he was awarded with one of Italy’s highest honours, The Knight of the Order of the Star of Italian Solidarity, for helping to promote the country’s image overseas.

Allardyce has now paid tribute to the former Bolton man, hailing his trailblazing move to Italy in 1998.

“The news isn’t a surprise as far as I am concerned,” said Allardyce on the club’s official website.

“Hide has had the time to think about his future and has decided that the best outcome is for him to hang up his boots.

“He’s had a glittering career and has achieved plenty in the domestic game.

“He will be remembered as the catalyst of Asian and Japanese football, and also the first Japanese export to European football.

“It was a privilege to work with him last season.”

Whatever it is, I fully support his decisions. This is what you call true love…