I have been wanting to post this up for days. But keep forgetting. Last Thursday night was the England vs Trinidad & Tobago match.
I witnessed the game live via satellite on a wide-screen projector at a mamak. The crowd there was amazing. Every table was occupied and everyone was anticipated. Even some, including Ray, have been sitting there for hours before the game, prior to securing ultimate front-seats.
Deep inside, I am a Trinidad & Tobago supporter because my Godmother (Shirley Capel passed-away seven years ago) was a citizen of that country. But I was hesitant to show my enthusiasm, as obviously every Ahmad, Ali and Abu at the mamak was supporting England. Including my friends.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not a football fan. But as Colin puts it, “at least be a fan, once in four years”. And so, I turned myself into one of the so-called football ‘hooligans’ that night.
The match was undeniably entertaining. The highlight for me, was the commentator. I do not know his name (anyone who have any idea, please let me know). The commentator was very straight-forward and sarcastic. There were quite a number of lines from his comments which really set me, and those who were listening, all giddy and laughing away. These are some of his sarcasms/comments that are so downright hilarious!
I swear that Peter Crouch’s socks come up to Dwight Yorke’s eyes. Amazing how tall he is. How long will he play before we see Rooney?
A shot of Sven on the sideline. He looks completely bored and disinterested. He should give up his seat to a fan or something. Worth noting he is wearing a blazer which is impressive in the heat. Also worth noting that Crouch has long sleeves on. Everything about him is long. Well, not everything…or so I’ve been told…
Well this is turning out to be a bore. Fortunately the fridge is stocked with beer and I have all of you around to keep my sweating body company.
With that Crouch lays out his 10 foot long legs but can’t redirect the cross on goal. Best chance yet for the robot man.
Crouch’s legs might be longer than the island of Tobago.
Anyone hear any good jokes lately? This one is dragging alone at a tortoise pace.
Carlos Edwards with a weak shot that sails way high. Speaking of not working, Trinidad & Tobago hasn’t exactly shown much of an attack yet. Maybe they think the object of the game is to tie. Worked against Sweden. That was their best win ever.
Do you think any of the players out there today have a mask hidden in their shorts? That was one of the stangest goal celebrations during the Ecuador match. Guy scores and reaches into his sweaty jock to pull out a mask which he puts on his face. Oddly entertaining.
England attack is the new definition of “existential.” Go ahead look it up in the dictionary. Yorke down holding his manhood in a not so pleasant way.
Yorke wishes he had a mask in his shorts. He won’t be reproducing anytime soon but boy can he sing soprano.
Rooney and Walcot getting limber on the sideline. Put them both in and wake us up please.
England corner. Beckham bends it long and it is brought out and passed around before Beckham sends in a weak cross that is caught by boom Shaka laka. That was a lot of words for a whole little action.
Another England corner and Gerrard fails to realize the object of the game is to put the ball in the goal and not over it. Shots of England fans nearly snoozing in the stands.
Is this a case of Trinidad being solid or England stinking worse than a hot apartment with seven guys living in it in Berlin?
Trinidad & Tobago gets a corner. Yorke knocks it across and Stern John almost hits a diving header. Robinson flailing in goal for England. That was close. Maybe that will wake up the sleepwalking lions.
England continues to control the possession but even Sven has to see that it ain’t working near the goal. Trinidad & Tobago has to be pleased to make it this far in the game. The more they hang around, the more you never know….God it is so hot I am sweating cliches.
Crouch’s attempt to score went miles away.
Leo Beenhakker looks like a mad scientist on the Trinidad bench. The Dutch coaches sure are having a good World Cup so far. Must be the wooden shoes.
Owen finds Lampard in the box and he hits it over the bar again. You would think that this is England taking penalty kicks with the number of shots they are hitting high.
England fans chanting “Rooney”. I don’t think they are calling for the principal in Ferris Beuller’s Day Off.
We’re underway in the second half. Will the Soca Warriors shock the world again or will England deliver another result? We’ll probably find that out in the next 45 minutes unless the game is called due to heat stroke. I’ve switched over to a lemon beer thing for this half hoping that it will keep me hydrated and also ward off scurvy. I hope you are happy and healthy wherever you are in this world. It is awesome to have you join me for the fun.
If Trinidad & Tobago is this good, can you imagine if they fielded a team for all the West Indies? Kind of like cricket. That would be neat-o. Anyone know when Trinidad and Tobago gained independence?
I believe it was Shakespeare who wrote: “My kingdom for a goal.”
Rooney getting an excellent workout jogging on the sideline.
Crouch with a bicycle kick that is way off. That was highly entertaining in a car crash type of way. Crouch looked like a windmill. Nice effort but not really.
Come on David, bend it like Beckham.
Rooney hasn’t scored in the past minute. Highly overrated, he is. The foot looks good though. Nice to see him play after all this scuttlebutt.
Raise your hand if you think this England team looks good enough to win the World Cup. Anyone raising their hand?
Joe Cole has had a nice tournament for England. Where are Gerrard and Lampard? They have largely been non factors.
Starting to have a wild fantasy that Trinidad and Tobago will win the championship without scoring or letting up a goal in seven matches. As long as Crouch continues to suck that might be the case today.
I’m starting to cramp up here in the heat.
Crouch looks like he doesn’t get enough oxygen up there. He looks dizzy like Ronaldo.
Oh to be at the parties today in Trindad if the Soca Warriors get another result. That country must be electric right now. If the score remains 0-0 till the end, it will be a public holiday for the Caribbeans.
GOALLLLL!!! Beckham crosses it and Crouch goes over Sancho’s back to head it in. A small celebration but no robot.
England fans loudly singing their anthem. They should incorporate the words God Save our Crouch in that tune.
Peter Crouch, 6'7" – whose legs supposedly longer than the island of Tobago.
England won and remains atop the Group B table with six points. It wasn’t the prettiest win but with a pair of goals in the final 10 minutes England fans can only hope that their team’s finishing woes have been solved. Wayne Rooney did come in during the second half but didn’t show much. Trinidad and Tobago once again represented themselves very well. And don’t you think the commentator was hilarious?! I suggest he be made a millionaire. I hope he will comment for the final game. That would be one hell of an interesting and entertaining game.
I rest my case. And I am not a football fan!
Well, Jenn, I suppose you are a closet-fan, then.
(am I talking to myself ???!!!)
*gollum, gollum*
You see the similarity….???
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Samba vs Sayonara 
dear ol’ Mr. Smith
